How to stop being a "cometaphobia"
For some of us, commitment is a terrifying prospect. Whether it’s marriage, living together or just labeling a relationship. When things get too serious, our fight-or-flight response kicks in and we bolt like the demons from hell are chasing us.
It’s unfair to us and the people we date. So how do we change it?
Take things easy
There is no need to rush this kind of thing. Relationships have no time limits. If you take it one day at a time and just enjoy doing things with your partner, there will be nothing to make you panic. Don’t think that after a certain period of time, you need to “move on” or cut it off. It takes a while to know if you’re with the right person, and you don’t need to rush into that decision.
Contact your partner
Communication is everything. If your partner tries to take a step that you are not ready for, let them know. If they care about you, they will be understanding enough to wait until you feel comfortable moving forward in the relationship. Make sure they know you’re still interested in them, but you’re not ready for the next big thing. Take the time to think about exactly why you are nervous and discuss it with them. Then when you’re ready, continue.
Focus on the Now
The biggest problem for people who struggle with commitment is that they worry too much about the future. What if we don’t know each other well enough to make our relationship official? If we move in together, what will happen if we break up? If we get married, what if I fall out of love with you? Thinking of all the possible outcomes of doing something will of course make you think that finishing things is the best option. Instead, focus on the present. think about how you feel now. If you love that person, really love them, then make the most of it. Don’t worry about how long it can last or not. Just enjoy it while she does it.
change takes time
If you are afraid of commitment, it is likely that the relationships around you have not been good examples. You are afraid of getting stuck with the wrong person. Don’t worry. When you meet the right person, you will know. And following these steps will help you properly engage with them.