New book puts parents in control with confidence and common sense
Any parent, or even an adult who spends time with children, would do well to read Barbara C. Murray’s new book Taking Back Parenting. In concise and thoughtful discussions, Barbara covers a wide range of topics that parents need to care about their children, from how to teach and communicate with their children to creating a safe environment for them, how to maintain their relationship with their spouse, and even how to discuss topics difficult with their children, such as sexuality and pornography.
From the first page of this book, I realized that Barbara was a real mother. Yes, she has a degree and is a clinical social worker, but she is obviously a mother first, and most of the examples in the book she offers are based on her own experience as a mother. Other examples are based on their experiences helping clients better raise their own children and what worked and what didn’t work for them.
What I liked best about this book is that Barbara makes parents aware of certain topics that they should focus on with their children. Ask parents what they have really taught their children and explain where there has been a breakdown in communication. For example, she tells the story of two parents who came to her for help because they were having problems with their son making fun of other children; He explained that telling his son not to do it would not solve the problem without explaining why not to do it; parents needed to have a conversation with him about what it means to be on the moon, what parts of the body are private, and why such behavior is inappropriate. Much of Barbara’s research for this book was based on asking parents what they had taught their children, and when she asked if they had had conversations with their children about values or religion, most of the time she had eyes on White. I think the strongest point he makes in this regard is about sexuality. He points out that it is not enough to have “the talk” with his children; It is necessary to introduce the topic of sexuality at an early age, even from infancy or the age of a young child, identifying parts of the body while bathing a child, and then expanding it as children grow up in discussions about the body, what to expect at puberty and what to do when difficult situations arise, such as dealing with pornography.
Barbara is a member of the LDS church, which influences her beliefs and suggestions for parents, but never interferes with common sense or major topics of discussion, so non-believers will benefit from the practical advice in this book. and they can omit information they don’t know. I don’t find it helpful or may not agree. Most of the information that has a spiritual tone deals with the value of family and the importance of maintaining strong family relationships. In that sense, Barbara is an advocate for spouses to spend quality time alone to maintain their relationship and also spend individual time with children. In the end, it offers a portrait of a spiritually conscious healthy and happy family.
In addition to the general discussions in the book, Barbara offers exercises at the end of each chapter to help parents put what they have learned into practice. She offers topic lists to discuss with children on family reunion nights where parents spend time teaching children about a wide range of topics, including how to write a letter, the importance of being on time, eating healthy foods, safety. fire fighting and banking. She challenges parents to think of their own beliefs on many topics so that they can teach them to their children. It also provides a Parents’ Creed at the end of the book and a list of other books and websites as additional resources.
The bottom line is that this book offers very practical examples of how you can better communicate with your children. Yes, they will take a little time to implement, but they will save you a lot of trouble in the years after. All parenting problems basically boil down to a failure of parent-child communication. Barbara teaches how to open the lines of communication at an early age when children are receptive so that when they are older they do not get into trouble. The reward of reading and implementing the Taking Back Parenting tips will be a happy family. You just have to invest the time to reap the reward.