The importance of parental authority

Today, a large number of adolescents feel that parents have abdicated their duties to exercise authority and take responsibility for the direction of their children’s lives. Some parents refuse to do so and others cannot exercise their rights. As a result, there is a growing rebellion against parents. In some countries, the courts circumvent parental authority. Parents are punished for disciplining their children. The ‘rights of the child’ are paramount and parents must comply with the requirements or be punished by the courts.

The philosophy of Humanism states that it is okay for children to be independent of restrictions and to rebel against parents.

But the authority conferred on parents comes from God with the dictate “Train your child in the path he should follow and when he is older, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22: 6)

Children are our heritage and whether they are married, separated or divorced, we still have the responsibility for their proper upbringing. However, as Socrates said, “there is only one profession that is not educated or trained: raising children.” Parenting is our privilege and responsibility and we learn from our own experience and the wisdom of those who have done it before.

Parental authority implies: –

• Leadership so that the child becomes a balanced, loving and warm person with a positive attitude towards life. What is taught in childhood is internalized and contributes to their character and personality. You must be able to differentiate between good and evil.

• Nurture with love. A child who is confident and secure in the love of his parents is more likely to accept rules and restrictions. Parents should spend quality time with children, express love to them, congratulate them on their positive points, and praise them for their good behavior.

• Discipline will be effective after proper instructions and example to follow. Children are given rules to live for their own good. Until the age of 7-8 years, it is easy to impose discipline. But as they get older, they show resistance and begin to challenge authority with “why” and “why” questions. They come up with smart excuses for not doing what they are supposed to do. This should not be considered disrespectful to parents. It is part of growth. Your questions should be answered sensibly without getting angry. However, children should not be allowed to intimidate their parents or subject them to emotional blackmail.

• Communication with the child must be meaningful and effective. Parents should not be too strict or too lenient. Overprotection will stifle spontaneity. The child will wait for his parents to solve his problems. It is important to listen and respond to their needs.

Every child needs the security of authority and must learn to respect it. The husband and wife must agree on how they exercise authority. They cannot disagree with each other. Obedience to both father and mother and their unified authority should be expected of each child.

Parenting patterns differ based on one’s background, education, social status, and culture. Four large groups can be identified.

1. Dictatorship when the word of the parents is law. The rules must be followed without discussion. There is no room for reasoning. The punishment follows even a minor offense.

2. Authoritative: Children are expected to follow the rules, but the child’s point of view is considered. Parents are persuasive and explain the reasons why the rules should be followed. They also point out the consequences of non-compliance. Baumrind says that authoritarian parents “monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s behavior. They are assertive but not intrusive or restrictive. Their methods are supportive. They want their children to be socially responsible, self-regulating and cooperative.”

3. Permissive parents are overly lenient and never discipline their children. They make few demands of them and do not have high expectations. They treat their children as friends.

4. Indifferent parents are generally distant and do not pay attention to even the basic needs of their children. They do not communicate in a meaningful way or discipline them. They can be physically present but emotionally absent.

The most successful parents are those who exercise authority with love and understanding. The child should know that there are rules to be followed both at home and in society. Obedience to parents, respect for others, fear of God, and the importance of living a godly life should be taught. Such a child will grow into a happy, loving, well-adjusted individual, capable of resisting what is wrong and standing firm in society. You will always be aware of the dangers of breaking the rules.

A dictatorial father can have submissive children. But they can harbor resentment and become bitter and cynical. They may lack social skills, be indecisive and shy, or they can become autocratic bullies in adult life.

Parents should not equate permissiveness with love. Pampering a child will not develop character. You will lack initiative and blame others for your failures.

Indifferent parents will have equally indifferent children. They will be selfish, indifferent, and lacking in social grace, self-control, and competition.

Parental authority is given by God and must be shared equally by both parents. Children need proper guidance and a set of moral values ​​to live by, in a world that is becoming increasingly anarchic and consumer-oriented. “Children need some authority structure,” Dr. Spock said. They need a “do’s and don’ts” framework. A family is by no means a democracy and parents and children are not the same. The most successful parents are those who exercise authority with love and understanding.