Why do people fear success?
YouTube seems to be the go-to place these days for people seeking overnight fame. Many people confuse being infamous with being famous. They are two drastically different things. However, very few of those who decide to jump onto YouTube seem to have any real talent.
So why don’t talented people seek this platform to showcase their talents?
For many, the reasons really vary. Are you filled with apprehension about achieving success?
Have you watched a YouTube video and noticed the thumbs up and thumbs down icon below the video?
Well some people are really positive and then there are the negative Nancys. Exposing yourself requires thick skin. If you’re like me, then it’s relatively easy to tell haters to jump off a bridge somewhere. Which begs the question: “Where do all these sickly personalities in society come from?”
Most of the haters are the product of poor upbringing and an uneducated educational environment, raised in today’s psychologically pathological society, where they socially conform to a social tendency of haters. Before all incompetent parents failed in this generation, a few decades ago people with such toxic attitudes appropriately became social outcasts, and if their behavior did not subside, they became the target of therapeutic interventions such as corrective physical assaults. They often find themselves facing the terrifying component of two things: some discomfort with success and envy.
To re-analyze the starting point of why talented people refrain from pushing as much as they could, YouTube is only used as a benchmark.
People are comfortable in their own skin. Most people are concerned about social acceptance and liking, and the idea of moving up the ladder before their peers, coworkers, friends and family, is something that unconsciously alarms them and induces internal conflicts, inducing them a level of anxiety. and ambivalence that prevents them from moving forward.
The fear encountered by a comedian before or during his performance on stage is very different from that encountered by someone who is afraid of success.
In a relative sense, the two can be synonymous in the sense that both can have a fear of rejection. The comedian’s fears may come from a place where he is booed on stage, and Joe Brown may fear that his singing skills are not being appreciated. Either way, both parties fear rejection in their own way.
On the other hand, the comedian’s fear of being interrupted may differ from Joe’s fear of standing up to his competition, being envied and hated by everyone he meets, including those he doesn’t even know.
People are not always happy about the success of others, to the point of turning malevolent.
As a 5’8 “former model, I can tell you that women can be infuriatingly disgusting. When I was a senior in high school, I remembered one morning that the principal of the school announced that Althea Laing, a very famous Jamaican model , I was looking for aspiring models and those who were interested in a modeling career should go see it in the designated area.
Naturally, this was my path, so I kept going. I remember standing in the designated waiting area where the fashion mogul would appear, when suddenly my “best friend” at the time came out of nowhere.
Now puzzled why she was there, my curiosity led me to direct my research on her. Her response was: “I am also interested in becoming a model.” The expression on my face was a hideous thing to see.
Yes, at this point you are wondering what the problem is or maybe you have already solved it. Do you know someone like that? Hence the old adage of keeping up with the Joneses.
This little dwarf had never expressed any interest in being a model. She saw my opportunity, and in the glimpse of the moment, gave up all aspirations to become a history teacher.
I mentioned her as the little dwarf, as this girl was doubtless 4 feet tall, and no, I’m not expanding on here either, she was that short.
For the record, there is nothing wrong with short people, but that seems like I woke up one day and decided that my friend, who I don’t have by choice, wants to be a singer, so that’s my calling too.
There are many things about me. Singing is certainly not one of them. Or I could tell you about a certain cousin of mine, who spent her entire life tending to the nursing field as a result of my expressed interests in that field.
What am I telling people? You are obligated to live your life for yourself and pursue your dreams. Embracing the tendency to avoid success in view of others and their comments, envy, or reactions is hurting yourself.
It starts with finding your self-worth and giving yourself immeasurable value. Believe that you are worthy and that you deserve success.
According to recent studies, fear of success is a very real condition, one that has the existing possibility of causing you illness.
Have you ever experienced shaking, sweaty palms, during or before a really important job interview?
That is as a result of the physiological changes you are experiencing due to the nature of your anxiety level.
Actors often use breathing exercises or, in some cases, yoga. These are not bad alternatives, in fact they are very effective.
One of my favorite jokes is that of the great Les Brown, a nationally renowned speaker, who said in one of his speeches that he had moments where he stood up and his mind sat down. This makes me laugh every time, but it is a reality; happens.
Success in its own right is highly subjective. However, whatever it is for you, it is vital to know that your fear is very real and more common than you think.
Having said that, in the end, the ball is in your court and how the game ends is ultimately up to you.
Success doesn’t happen by accident, but by our hard work, perseverance, and the choices we make.
And once you’ve achieved success, to remain successful, you must acknowledge the hard work and skills that brought you to your level of success.
A good way to do this is to keep a journal of your journey along the way. This helps put things in perspective and keeps you honest and accountable for your success.
You’re probably producing a thousand and one different thoughts about why you wouldn’t feel internally successful. This is because there are actually people who attribute their success to sheer luck.
They experience an inability to internalize their accomplishments. They feel fraudulent and do not deserve the success they have achieved. This is a condition known as imposter syndrome.
Signs and symptoms present differently. To provide a picture of what this looks like:
• Exhibit habits of excessive perfectionism.
• Work overload
• The person tends to undermine his achievements.
• They don’t take praise very well or tend to downplay it.
People who experience this syndrome will often have the mindset that failure is not an option or, as mentioned above, their success is simply due to luck.
“I’ve written 11 books, but every time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve made a game with everyone and they’re going to find me.'” -Maya Angelou
Do not read this and do a self-test; Rather, if you or someone you know experiences any of the above, rest assured that you can overcome it without seeking the help of a professional.
In the meantime, believe in yourself and your abilities. Self-esteem and success will be yours with hard work and perseverance.
Do me a favor. I want you to adopt a 30-day ritual. Every day of these 30 days, look in the mirror and say out loud: “I am worthy and I deserve to succeed; I am going to achieve it.”
If it takes you longer than this exercise period to believe, that’s perfectly fine, too. The important thing is that you are fully committed to your own personal development and that you commit to yourself to honor it on a daily basis and to stay committed.