Conquering Fear and Loneliness as a Solo-Pro – The Emotional Journey

I can’t tell you how many times in my stressed-out corporate days I said, “I wish I could work from home.” Then, “I wish I had my own business.” After leaving the company for a smaller company, I got my wish. On my 45th birthday the company closed its doors.

I went on my solo career journey. I saw it as a gift; then came the emotional roller coaster; and finally the ups and downs became less extreme. I would not have traded this experience for the world. There is no going back. Being a solo professional and now an entrepreneur is in my blood. So how do we conquer fear and loneliness as professional soloists?

First, let’s see if anything here reflects what you are experiencing or have experienced. Feel free to add additional emotions that are not on the list.

Solitude: no teams or individuals to work with, day in and day out. Tranquility can be both good and bad.

EITHERverwhelm – Too much to do and you are the ONLY one who can do it.

YoLack of Confidence/Self-Esteem: You may not have started out this way, but do you feel your confidence and self-esteem drop when you’re alone?

YoInternal Negative Voices: This is one of the most important. Have you said any of these things?
Add your own to these examples.

– Who do you think you are having your own business? You’ve never done it before, what makes you think you can do it now?

– You don’t know how to create this product; write this article or facilitate a workshop. Go back to what you were doing.

– I don’t know how to market, how to sell and I don’t want people to think I’m an ‘in your face’ salesperson.

– If I don’t have the answers to everything, I will look unprofessional.

youTime is full of non-essential work and random tasks – I’ve found that this qualifies as rewarding and procrastinating. Rewarding because I see immediate gratification in a completed task, whether it’s a business task or not. Procrastinating what you really need to do because you don’t like it, don’t know where to start, or think you don’t have what it takes to do it.

younder whelm – Having too much time and not enough to do.

D.Reduced Focus – This can be caused by anything listed here. Loneliness, overwhelmed, lack of confidence, time filled with random tasks, overwhelmed and extreme fear. Your head fills up and there is no room to fix things.

myExtreme fear: most of the time we see it and feel it. Some of my personal experiences have been: 1) frozen at my desk to answer the phone; 2) frozen in thought for fear of multiple problems; 3) fear of failure; 4) fear that you have to be perfect or can’t do it at all; 5) fear of success. Fear is tricky. We don’t always see it and a feeling can be masked to the point of defining it as something totally different.

How could I name all these emotions? They are all experiences that I have gone through as an entrepreneur. We all go through it and guess what, it doesn’t go away but it changes for the better. You grow and mature in the way you learn to manage your emotions. An emotion that was at 100% can now feel like 10%. FEAR has become a good thing for me and dare I say, exciting?

So, let’s look at ways to conquer fear and loneliness as a freelancer and entrepreneur.

1) Make appointments with yourself and go to the library, a coffee shop or a fun environment that brings you positive energy. Take a segment of your business to work with and if it’s too big, take a piece of it. Schedule the appointment for a time frame where you will stay focused.

2) Set up a weekly appointment with a business friend. Did you do this in high school, a study date? They each bring what they want to work on that makes them responsible for being there. If you get stuck on something, you can talk about it and help each other out.

3) Search online for business networking groups in your area. Go visit and see how you like it. Groups have different formats and it’s important to find what works for you. Depending on your area, you may have several options. Some professions fit very well with a Chamber of Commerce and may have several groups to choose from. If that’s your style, you might want to get involved with a Rotarian.

4) When fear takes over, immediately get on the phone with that business friend you’ve connected with, talk through him. I can’t tell you how many times my friends and business partners have pulled me out of the fog and fear and into action. Remember, this is not a grievance session; it is an intentional call to help you overcome that fear.

5) Set up times with someone to check in throughout the day on a project. Again, this promotes the responsibility that many of us need to focus on.

6) Create your own team of freelancers and meet on a weekly or bi-weekly schedule. Get out of your office for your meetings and you can also do them over the phone if the weather is bad. You can even do it nationwide. You do not need to have local team members if you are making a conference team call.

This team is created to help you be clear, set and achieve your goals, and help others achieve theirs. If you don’t know where and how to start your group, here’s a free tip sheet. It’s called The Success Team Blueprint.

Putting the pieces in place that have been mentioned in this article will help you conquer your fear and loneliness. The more you bring into your daily life, the more successful you will be. Congratulations on choosing your solo-professional career. Don’t forget to ‘play’.