Lesbian relationships and friends
One of the most difficult challenges, particularly in a same-sex relationship, is setting boundaries with friends and mingling with each other’s friends. Plus, doing this while staying safe and making yourself feel like she’s the most important person in the world!
Generally, in lesbian relationships, most of the friends are of the same sex. Friends can be nosy, nosy, stubborn, jealous, rude, and inconsiderate; however, they can also be fun, supportive, considerate, helpful, and great sounding boards. There is no question that friends will wreak havoc on a relationship or be acceptable and considerate.
Let’s work from the premise that the relationship is the highest priority and friends are not (but they are still very important). There are several key areas to focus on that can immediately strengthen the relationship. These areas should be established and mutually respected:
Limits – Agree parameters that are manageable. Determine what are the negotiable and non-negotiable items. Examples: agreeing to have both of you home before 8 pm, unless otherwise specified; not answering phones during dinner; cell phones are prohibited when in bed. If you go to happy hour, invite the other to join or at least communicate plans and get home on time. Remember, these limits must be agreed. If you end up policing and penalizing due to limits, what you have in place is not working. The limits are to be and feel respectful to each other, not to take them hostage.
Communication – Make the other person feel special, loved, safe and protected. Talk about everything. Find out about what is important to each one, feelings, favorites, hobbies, goals and dreams, fears and phobias, food, children, families, etc. Get to know each other better than anyone. Build trust and respect. Make the other person feel valued and important.
Common interests – Explore what you enjoy doing together such as projects, travel, entertaining friends, cooking, golf, fishing, hiking, etc. It is not necessary to do everything together, but it is healthy to do a few (enough) things together. It is important to have fun together and feel connected. Organize your relationship so that they don’t always run in parallel, but have enough intersection times to keep them in sync with each other.
Social Host Occasions – One way to mingle with each other’s friends is to organize social times together at home, such as dinner parties and game nights. Another is planning outings with mutual friends, such as happy hours, going to dinner and a movie, etc. The key is to feel more comfortable with each other’s friends. Strive to combine friends and be more inclusive.
Spontaneity – Surprise each other in ways that you know you appreciate and like. Break the routine and break with everyone else and do each other. Make the other person feel exceptional.
Happy, long-lasting relationships should be treated as the top priority. Focus on enjoying your time together. Include friends when appropriate and by mutual agreement. There shouldn’t be a feeling of competing for time, attention, and love! Friends should be fun additions.