Retune your mind
How many times have you found yourself reacting to a situation without thinking and then discovering that you overreacted? I know I have! Remember that time you really embarrassed yourself and then you replayed it over and over in your head? Or what about your inability to ask for a raise or promotion that you deserve because you’ve told yourself so many times that you’re not worth it? These repetitive thought patterns are an oddly comfortable place that we keep visiting, even though they are negative experiences. Replaying an embarrassing historical event repeatedly in your head is possibly harmful, as is telling yourself that you’re not worth a promotion or anything else.
The good news is that it is possible to change those behaviors, the automatic responses that seem unbreakable. The same can be said of those moments in which we relive embarrassing or stressful situations over and over again in our mind.
Brain training is real, not just an app on a game console. Habits are formed over time and take time to deconstruct. Nothing will change overnight; we have to develop patience and the techniques to support the change we desire.
The even better news is that the techniques needed to change our behaviors and habits are readily available, require no special equipment, and are easily learned.
“Mindfulness isn’t hard, we just have to remember to do it” – Sharon Salzberg
How do we begin to retune our minds? The first step is to be in tune with your mind.
Before you get away from the idea of being in tune with your mind, we are not going to disappear into a mystical approach involving mind expansion rituals and shamans. Being in tune with your mind is simply about awareness.
Here is a very simple exercise to show you how to take a step towards awareness. Since this is an exercise, it’s something you’ll need to spend a little time on and be prepared to feel a bit silly about.
Get a raisin, yes, a single raisin. If you don’t have or don’t like grapes, buy something else small and edible that doesn’t require peeling before eating. Hold it in the palm of your hand, look at it, really examine it and explore it by putting all your attention on it. Take the time you need to be able to recognize this as ‘your’ thing. Be aware of the feelings you are experiencing as you study the grape. That includes feeling silly!
Next, focus on the texture and feel of your grape. Roll it up in your hand, touch it gently. Pick it up, explore it with your senses of hearing and smell. Take the time you need to familiarize yourself with this grape. Once again, be aware of how you feel when you do this. In addition to feeling silly, you may be hungry now!
Finally, place it against your mouth, touch it to your lips, and place it on your tongue. Before taking a bite, become aware again of your feelings and any physical changes that may be occurring, you may be salivating. Then take a bite, chew the raisin slowly, and savor the flavor. Enjoy its taste and see if you have any thoughts or feelings while eating it. Reflect on this experience and try to remember all your thoughts and feelings.
This exercise is all about awareness, your senses, your thoughts, your feelings, and the external stimulus of exploring the raisin. It is a mindful eating practice. Think for a moment about how often you eat a meal or snack without even noticing the taste of the food, let alone the textures and smells. How often do we spend our lives on autopilot? Have you ever driven to work, or taken some other very familiar journey, arriving at your destination without remembering your trip?
Mindfulness is the conscious decision to be aware of the moment you are living right now and to be in tune with yourself and your environment.
Taking small steps to do this every day, practicing mindfulness on simple tasks like eating, will retune your mind to being aware of yourself and your surroundings. The hope is to bring these practices to more everyday situations. Presence and awareness are the basis for changing a thought pattern. Although we may not be aware of how often we have a negative thought pattern, once we can recognize our thoughts and feelings, we know what to aim for.
“Lindsay and Cresswell argue that the attentional monitoring aspect of mindfulness may allow people to be more aware of their thoughts and emotions, which may allow them greater flexibility in cognitive reappraisal,” Minda explained. “So mindfulness doesn’t necessarily reduce negative thoughts or negative emotions, but the attentional control that develops through meditation practice helps people deal with negative thoughts more quickly.”
So instead of reliving an embarrassing moment, repeating your worthlessness, or responding automatically, you catch yourself. Research tells us that it is
“It is well known in psychological and scientific circles that every time one engages in a behavior over and over again, it can cause changes in the brain, a phenomenon called neuroplasticity.” – Jessica Bane-Robert
Research and science continue to point toward mindfulness leading to physical, mental, and emotional changes in the brain and behavior. So allow yourself to take a moment to be mindful, meditate, reset your mind, and maybe ask for that promotion today.