Why does a husband return to his wife after an affair? I’ll tell you

I often hear from wives who want my advice on how to heal after their husband cheated on them. However, from time to time, I hear from lovers or women who are cheating with another woman’s husband. These women often want my opinion or advice on the husband and want to know how to keep him involved in the affair. (I don’t give this advice, of course.) But, a question I get a lot is something like, “Why do men go back to their wives after an affair? I know I made him happy and I know he likes it. be with me more than her. So why did he go back to his wife when we were so happy together? “I have theories as to why husbands finally come to their senses and go home. I will share them with you in the next article.

Men often return to their wives after an affair because they realize that they have been foolishly living in Fantasy Land: It’s not uncommon for men to tell me that one day they wake up and suddenly realize how stupid and selfish it is to cheat on their wife. They often realize that there really is nowhere for adventure to go. One day, they realize that this was all a big mistake, that they really love their wives and that they were trying to fix the problems in their life (which often had nothing to do with their wife) in the wrong way. .

This will often lead to a feeling of desperation and urgency, where they want to fix this problem and clean up this mess right away. Therefore, they often break up abruptly with the mistress, who is left confused about what she did wrong. The truth is that he may or may not have done something wrong. But frankly, the man is more likely to have realized that the relationship was very bad and that there was no good reason to continue with something that is based on fantasy, deception, and an unhealthy foundation.

Men often return to their wives because they realize that the affair is not going to solve their problems: Another thing I often see is that men have an affair to fix themselves, or their low self-esteem, or their inability to feel powerful, but then they finally realize that the affair was just a quick but temporary fix. Somewhere along the way, they wake up to find that they are not really better and that those same doubts and insecurities that haunt them are still there. Sure, the adventure may have been a distraction for a while. But eventually, one day they look in the mirror and realize that, not only are they getting old, insecure, or stressed, they are now deceitful, dishonest, and acting shameful as well. In this way, the adventure has only made things worse for them and they want things to return to “normal”.

Men go back to their wives after cheating because they love their wives (and they never loved the woman they were cheating with): I often have lovers who say things to me like “I know he loved me. I know he adored me in a way that I could never adore her. I get it. She doesn’t. I know that divorce would be expensive and that he doesn’t.” he wants to give up his children. But one day he will come to and realize that he doesn’t love her the way he loves me. “I often have to bite my tongue to keep from saying” good luck with that line of thinking. “

This is what these women don’t understand. He is not likely to love you the way he loves his wife. She has often been with him through thick and thin. You will likely share a long history with him and a family with him. In short, this woman has invested her time. You haven’t even started doing it. Yes, they may have felt that they had a connection and deep spiritual understanding of each other. But this is likely because it has not yet been challenged. Everything is light and sweet and no one has to deal with sick children, dirty clothes, or a broken down car.

Love is a word that is used very loosely and this is unfortunate. But real, deep love builds on itself over time and often doesn’t arise from a dishonest situation where you’re betraying and lying to someone you supposedly love. The lover often hopes and hopes that a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship will emerge from an unhealthy situation and negative emotions. So, you already have that against you.

For one thing, this can make everything exciting at first. But on the other hand, when the smoke clears, this will bring shame and disgust, and a desire to end it all and get back to what is honest and real. This is his wife and his family. This may seem unfair to you, but hopefully, you knew this risk existed when you started this relationship.

Do not misunderstand. I don’t want either party to any relationship to get hurt or hurt. But, if you are the mistress reading this article, know that in my opinion you are better off with a man who is free to commit to you and is not ashamed to be honest about your relationship. A healthy and loving relationship is not based on cheating and does not need to be hidden.