Negative reaction to good news: how can that be?

You’d think that when you’re facing a medical crisis, good news about your health would relieve stress and anxiety. Personally, I was very surprised that after the initial euphoria of the good news, a feeling of “depression” set in. It was almost as if the good news was too much. It seemed like a strange answer and thinking about it inspired me to write this article. Who would have thought that good news could produce more than just good feelings?

Let’s explore the dynamics of bad news and good news. (I covered what to do when you get bad news in a previous article.)

Anticipation is the enemy because it produces anxiety and stress. When you are diagnosed with a serious or life-threatening illness, the focus turns to treatment. The anticipation is that the treatment will be successful or at least there is hope that it will be. But this is only the beginning of the journey. Eventually, the doctors will check whether the treatment is working or not. The anticipation and waiting for that first test is tough and emotional. After all, your family and friends are doing the same…waiting. This shared experience may feel supportive, or you may feel like you are responsible for your feelings, too, or something in between. The anticipation builds nervous energy inside along with negative projections and a sense of responsibility for how others will feel.

You have good news! The treatment is working. Everyone can feel a wave of relief. There is joy, celebration and expectations of being well. The truth is, the waiting game starts again for the next test and marker of your health. The next test and the results follow. Maybe it’s good news again or maybe you’ll get bad news. The expectation grows again. You and your loved ones find yourself on edge, on edge and perhaps a bit exhausted with the process that you now know will continue unless the health crisis ends. The cycle starts all over again and the anticipation worsens, especially if you’ve been oscillating between good news and bad news.

Now I understand the feelings of “depression” after good news. The flame of expectation is lit again for you and your loved ones. Expectation leads to anticipation, which leads to anxiety, stress, and other feelings.

Feeling depressed when hearing good news is also self-protection from the yo-yo effect of the positive and negative news cycle. If you don’t get too excited, it won’t hurt as much if the news is negative or neutral (longer wait). If you are one of those who feel responsible for the feelings of others, you may not even have the experience of celebrating. Feeling depressed or neutral after good news protects you from disappointment, protects you from discomfort, and protects you from future projections about your health outcome.

You now know the mechanism and cycle that creates anticipation and the cause of low or neutral feelings when hearing good news. Is it okay to handle the news about your health in this way? Of course it is! There is no right or wrong with feelings. Each person manages them in their own unique way. Someone told me that staying neutral with good news and bad news is healthy. Without major ups and downs it allows the body to remain calm and in healing mode. The cycle and process of managing a health crisis is just what it is: a cycle, a process, life…your life.

Staying present will also help manage anticipation. That means paying attention to what is happening now instead of thinking about what happened in the past and creating projections about what could or should happen in the future. These projections don’t help unless you are using positive imagery to work with your subconscious mind through hypnosis, for example, which is very effective at calming the mind, body and emotions and keeping you present in the now. After all, the NOW is all you, your family, and your friends can really handle, and focusing on the present moment makes things easier.

Exercise: If you find yourself in anticipatory anxiety, either from past experiences or projections about the future, you can do something about it!

Get in a comfortable position with your eyes closed. Take 3 or 4 slow breaths. If your mind is still working or you feel negative feelings, just notice them. No need to “fix”. As you breathe in slowly, let your body begin to relax. Your limbs may feel a bit heavy, your back will no longer be tense, and your neck will relax along with your hands and feet. Your heart rate may slow as you relax. Keep observing your body, your thoughts and your feelings. There is nothing to do but notice. Just take a breath and pay attention to your right or left foot. Notice the toes, heal, arch, and ankle. Draw your attention down the calf and shin, behind the knee, and in front of the knee to the thigh and buttocks. Look at your hip. Keep breathing slowly. Direct your attention up from the hip to the thigh, to the lower back, to the spine, and to the side of the back. Look at your abdomen and belly. Become aware of your chest and the movement of your chest as you breathe.

Notice your shoulder, drawing your attention down your arm to your hand and notice each finger. Shift back to his shoulder and become aware of his neck and throat. Then move your attention to that side of your face, including your mouth, jaw, eye, forehead and ear, and your forehead. Pay attention to the back of your head, moving to the top of your scalp. Then shift your attention to the other side of your body and let your attention travel from your head and scalp down to your toes.

That is. You will have the experience of being present with your body, your mind will quiet down and you will relax. If you wish, you can move your awareness around your body 2-3 times, which will deepen your experience. This process favors relaxation, emotional balance and being present, the space from which the experience of managing a health crisis can best be faced.

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