Realize that men and women do not handle emotional upsets in the same way!
That’s why you hear so many guys say, “Don’t get excited again!” Meanwhile, she’s hitting the nail on the head, but she doesn’t even realize it.
I mean, saying those words was actually the last thing I should have done! This is throwing oil on the fire!
Guys, let’s learn to make up before they break up! By that I do not mean that you should always be on the defensive. If you can come to understand this principle, not only will you be able to avoid many arguments, but your relationship will definitely grow to a new level!
We need to understand; That’s how checkers work! The sooner you can learn to understand this and respond in a kind way, the sooner you’ll add a new spark to your relationship.
Women are NOT cars that break down and need to be fixed. They are more like flowers that need to be showered with love and understanding.
A man would just go somewhere to be alone and find a solution. He would look at the situation logically. Once he found the solution – “problem solved” – let’s get on with life.
Women prefer someone to listen and validate their feelings with words and emotions!
I can remember that after I got married, my wife started implying that I REALLY don’t love her. She just couldn’t understand what it was about! I mean…”Can’t she see in everything I do that I love her?” Why should she keep telling him? She must know that I love her! So then I fallen in reason! She wants to see it, she wants to hear it and she wants to feel loved! ‘Feeling loved’ means being considered and understood. It was her way of making me confirm what I really knew. I just took it for granted that knowing is enough! Trust me, it doesn’t have to be a burden. Just little little things, like a compliment here and there. Show some appreciation and consideration. In the old days, it was actually known as “good manners”, or being a gentleman. But somehow we seem to have lost all of that. What a pity! Try it, she won’t believe what she will do for her relationship.
Example:
John forgets to drink the milk that Mary asked him to pick up on the way to work.
Mary has had a bad day at work and barks at him when he shows up without the milk.
John apologizes and says he’ll pick him up after dinner (thinking that’s problem solved, let’s get on with life!)
With Mary it is not so easy, she is irritated.
John senses this and begins to respond with mean comments to return the anger. “You act like your mother!”… “Nothing is good enough for you!”…etc.
Needless to say, we can all see where this relationship is headed.
We need to stop responding to see if we can hurt the other party. Who can be the strongest? “I will not tolerate that attitude”…
What does it matter who is the strongest? Why the hell do you want to hurt the person you want to spend your life with?
Instead, respond by saying, “I see you had a bad day. I slipped and I’m sorry. Would you like to tell me what happened today?”
Instead of responding with more aggression than your partner, stay calm. Tell her that you understand how upset she must be after a day like that. Your little “oops” obviously must have been the straw that broke the camel’s back, but hey, you still love her anyway. Yes, women need to hear that. Just showing some understanding and consideration will negate the whole situation. You might get that first hint of a smile, and as the day goes on, everything returns to normal and everyone is happy.
To conclude: guys, we need to understand that men and women do NOT approach emotional disorders in the same way. That is the fact, and nothing you do will change that. So learn to understand it and DON’T ignore it! If you do, it may cost you your relationship!